Fingers, Chef Dutch, Uppies and Loomies

So first of all we have a finger-off. OK my local guy wins because he actually lost his finger. But then does he? Maybe there are points to be won over finger style?

So I show him mine and he says ‘ouch’ (that’s kid of what he said..) and then he shows me his…but I can’t say ouch that’s fantastic because it’s not there! I can only say ‘where is is it?’.

Now this last happened with the witch doctor in Bequia who for a 5EC (£1.10gbp) consultation told me to bathe it in Epsom Salts. Then he said that’s what I did with my leg following which he showed me massive scarring down his leg with a cut just about as long as it can be. Wow I say, how did you do that? Oh fighting he said. Stupid question should have known it is the Caribbean. He was a cool doctor with an open surgery that popped up all over town….Anyway I digress…

So I said to my Dominican finger challenger how did you do that? I think he said over a woman but he dragged me to one side and showed me the door. He demonstrated how it had slammed on his finger and that half of it had sort of got wedged in and filled the mitre gap round the doorway. Rather than feeling sorry for hinself he said it was the best thing that ever happened because now all the ladies come running to talk about his missing finger……but it’s not that cool to point to your average door lock and say ‘there it is!’.

I told him the secret word……..’SHARK’

Then there’s ‘Chef Dutch’. Chef Dutch is a chef from St Martin who said when you are over that way tell Uppies at Loomies that Chef Dutch sent you and that he should look after you….

OK so about a month later we are in Loomies and talk to the owner who has lived there since the age of 2. He doesn’t know Uppies but thinks it could be ‘Uppy’ which is the nickname for Happy who works there but isn’t sure that he works in the Kitchen, not as a chef at any rate. Chef Dutch doesn’t ring a bell so all in all it wasn’t quite the discussion we expected. Things turnover fast on this island….